Dating stories from hell

I froze, wondering if I would feel his hairy balls touching my skin - that would be too much of a distraction and not worth it. I run into the kitchen and I'm telling myself that I do not want to give this naked man a massage in return. I hold the meat up and I tell the naked man that I forgot I had to go to a barbecue and I'm the one that was supposed to bring the main course. I leave the meat on the table and start grabbing paper plates and utensils.Once he started the back massage, I let everything in my mind go. My mind right now jumps back to what the fuck is gonna happen next. As I'm hurriedly packing all of this into a large picnic bag that I have, he's finally done getting dressed.I was finally getting over a bad breakup that was, in retrospect, entirely my fault. Around the time of this date, I was also smoking a fair amount of PCP.Of course, I know that blithely stating that I regularly used a drug like PCP is kind of like briefly mentioning that I used to fuck deer, so I won’t dig myself a deeper hole by trying to justify it. One side effect of consistent drug abuse is a faulty memory, so I decided to blaze up at the reasonable hour of 11 am on a Saturday.Prior to that, I’ve been the subject and cause of many, many bad dates. A little background: in 2012, I was “living” in the city.

Without thinking I just grabbed my full picnic basket of frozen meat and paper plates and I ran out to my car.

I, as a man of my word, entirely intended to carry them through.

I figured that I had about an hour before I could come down enough to communicate with another person, so I gave her the name of a brunch spot I’d frequented and a time.

Ok so she’s a whore but you’re not for fucking around? I told him I'm a pretty open person and thought that was not a big deal.

Are you sure she “left you” or did she just get tired of your cheating? After they get divorced, he tells me how he had two NJPs (non-judicial punishments) one for assault and one for sexual harassment. I excuse myself to the bathroom after a little while to freshen up. I ended up inviting him over to my one bedroom apartment - it was about 4 in the afternoon.

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