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Although not afraid to assert themselves via their auxiliary function, Extraverted Thinking (Te), the INTJ is naturally more passive, even somewhat phlegmatic in his or her presentation.More proactive types, such as ENTJs, might even consider the INTJ a bit lazy or apathetic.While not necessarily their fault, this should comprise at least as much of their relational attention as trying to see and diagnose problems in their partners.
While there is certainly nothing wrong with doing so, it may not always remedy their predicament in the way they might expect.
It is therefore important for partners to remember that INTJs’ first priority is accuracy of perception, so if the INTJ happens to be wrong, there is a good chance he will eventually come to recognize it.
In order to compensate for such misunderstandings, INTJs might reason that if they could only understand people better they could overcome their relational difficulties.
In fact, one of the primary reasons INTJs seek relationships is to have someone to share ideas with.
As David Keirsey put it, for INTJs, love often comes (and arguably should come) in the form of a “mindmate.” Unfortunately, finding a suitable mindmate is rarely an easy task for the INTJ.