Single mom dating a younger man
Our benchmarks as a couple are totally different, the obvious being your relationship with my child. If anything, I am more vulnerable because I am more serious about my time and my relationships.
Just like shared hobbies and travel experiences can help bond two people, your relationship with my son helps bond me with you. When you treat me well, you’re treating my kid well. This is the one that ties a neat bow around the whole thing.
When you’re dating me, those experiences are few and far between.
I would just be really cautious about getting close to the kid, because if it didn’t work out, I’d feel bad if the kid got attached, then hurt.” “I think it would be a pain.
My friend dated a single mom and she was always breaking plans because of childcare issues, or suggesting he just come over and watch a movie. Maybe she’s like my friend and had a baby after just dating someone. I dated a single mom who had a lot of issues with her ex and I found that I got sucked into a lot of drama.
Ask about what she loves about being a mom, ask about what her kids' interests are, admit that you've never seen . Liking her kids isn't the same as raising her kids. Until the mini people are old enough to get their own cereal and turn on the cartoons, there's no such thing as sleeping in. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don't talk badly about him in front of the kids (it's actually included in many custody agreements; don't make a sticky situation stickier). She can't just see how the night goes and stay out as long as she might want. Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight?
You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. If you really want to impress everyone, let her sleep while you get the pancakes going and put the coffee on, or take everyone on a doughnut run. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11!
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"Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.