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In a first date you are trying to make an impression.
That “best behavior” should be the model, within reason, for the relationship going forward.
This makes it easy for me to support him to be there as much as he can for them without feeling hard done by or like I’m in second place.
He knows he is free to be there for them as much as he can without feeling he’s letting me down.
For me the key thing about building a relationship with his kids was to let things develop slowly and organically, like any relationship and not try to force or rush things. Don’t hold it against them and certainly don’t take it personally although of course it probably feels personal. Your relationship with them is already unique and special and you don’t need to force it to be something it isn’t. It’s not a relationship you get to experience very often and when you do, it’s a really special one.
It would be easy to sigh and wish they came without all the baggage. But for me, it’s his past that has made him more emotionally mature and a better communicator.
It’s really important to give them the space to heal.
He had been married so long, there were things about his lifestyle that I could tell were remnants of his married days.I’ve never been married and before this relationship hadn’t had a relationship longer than a few years.Divorce wasn’t something I’d ever experienced close up.I wanted to share my tips on how to thrive while dating a divorced dad in case it’s a risk you’re thinking about taking.When you date a dad, there’s a fear that you have to compete with his children for his time and attention. No, you aren’t always going to be his number one priority in life but nor should you be.
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If you have a needy personality, then I’m going to suggest that dating a divorced parent isn’t for you.